Well, its been a while.
The last little while of vet school has been a dynamic and incredible time.
I was sitting in the office of one of my mentors the other day, and he asked me, "How are things going this quarter?" Wow. What a question. I sat quietly for a few minutes while he worked away on his computer trying to find a file we needed for the project we are working on. "Honestly?" I said to him, "Every day I swing back and forth between feeling like I'm a hero, a genius, a soon to be great doctor who will go out and save the world and feeling like the stupidest, most worthless and inept person, who ever was mistakenly admitted to UC Davis." His response? A knowing chuckle and "Yah." But that was okay. I didn't need him to tell me that everything was going to be okay or that I didn't get into vet school by mistake. The comfort was in the way his response showed that he could completely relate. Because the truth is, its never going to get easier to accept who I am and what I know and more importantly, what I don't know. And that's okay.
This quarter is almost 100% devoted to equine classes. I wake up every day knowing that I get to discuss the most important concepts I will ever learn, with some of the most amazing equine doctors that I will ever know. What an honor. Don't get me wrong, I'm not like SpongeBob, spring loaded into my bed, ready the second the alarm sounds to blast into the day. But I have more purpose in what I am learning right now than I have ever experienced before and that is an incredible rush.
Each day produces new, amazing opportunities and each day the challenges you would expect in making the transition from third year to fourth year. I am more excited for my fourth year than anyone is likely advised, expected or allowed to be. Six short weeks from now, I will be stepping into the clinics for the rest of my time at UC Davis. The time will undoubtedly fly. It will be stressful, difficult, terrifying and wonderful. I can't wait.
Just think....someday YOU will be the mentor and someone will come and sit down in YOUR office chair to vent and you will be able to say "I know" and make that person feel encouraged and relieved.
ReplyDeleteAnd, if all else fails, you are a fabulous writer and I would totally pay to read a book by you :) (this is a joke but since my comedic timing doesn't always translate well into type I thought I should clarify :)) But you area great writer.