90 Degree Learning Curve

     There is no doubt that vet school pushes us to our limits.  It pushes us beyond our physiological needs for sleep and food.  It propels our minds at such a rapid pace, there are times when it feels, quite literally, like our brains will explode.  We reach new emotional heights as we realize the triumph of completing our first surgery and new depths as we go through the frustration and devastation of losing a patient we have fought to save.
     But none of these stresses, not exams or surgeries or working in the hospital, could ever exact the kinds of pressures that we (the students) put upon ourselves.  If you want to meet a person who is driven and will stop short of nothing but excellence, walk into a vet school.  The hallways are swarming with them.
     It is this pressure that makes vet students and I think veterinarians some of the greatest people in the world.  We strive for perfection and we are steadfast.  We will get up in the middle of the night, drive to your farm, save your animal and then get up first thing in the morning and put in a full day of work.  We will sit up all night with your dog so that you can sleep in the peaceful knowledge that your friend is being cared for.  We are awesome.
     Like most things though, there is a negative side.  I have never seen anyone as hard on themselves as my vet student friends.  Who am I kidding? . . . . I'm the poster child.  I had a lab a few days ago and it was an equine lab.  Anytime the subject is equine, my self-criticism turns up about 100 notches.  This is what I'm supposed to be good at!  This is my thing.  Why do I think that means I don't still have to learn?  As if I should just know it.  Well I struggled with a few differentials for a condition I was discussing one-on-one with my instructor.  The result?  I was in a funk for about 2 days.  2 DAYS!! 
     Today we had surgery and a classmate of mine didn't think they did very well.  In fact I think they said they "completely botched it," or something to that effect.  Now, I'm not a surgeon . . . yet, but I know from what I saw that it was a decent castration.  Was it the best castration I've ever seen?  No.  Should it have been?  NO!  It was their first castration!  Good lord, where did the learning curve go?  Apparently its the wall in front of us and we just have to climb straight up it.  But I can't criticize this person, I see myself too clearly in them.   I love that my classmate wants to be THAT excellent, but can we survive if we keep putting this much pressure on ourselves?  I don't know.
     I think that eventually we will either learn how to take the "ego blow" of L-E-A-R-N-I-N-G or we will be unhappy people constantly criticizing ourselves, until we wonder why we even bother doing this.

Learning how to float teeth at the GEVA Wetlab