The Mountains

     Today, I just want to be in my mountains.  What mountains are mine you ask?  Its a section of the Rockies that spans from South-Western Montana down into the North-Western most corner of Wyoming.  It includes the Tetons.  Probably the prettiest range in the world.  Other people might argue this point, but this is not their blog and so respectfully, their opinion doesn't matter.
     I cannot pinpoint why this group of mountains is so important to me.  It may be all the summers I spent there with my family.  Maybe it represents, peace and joy and safety.  Maybe that's why it feels like home.  I also cannot isolate what it is exactly today that makes me wish I was there.  I would gladly go there most any day, but today, there is an ache inside me for them. 
     I'm blue.  There's no dancing around it.  The clove cigar butt is still sitting out on the table in the garden to prove it.  Although I expect that at any moment it might get blown away by the wind. Its been a beautiful day and I've spent most of it working on essays in my pajamas.  
     This has been a strange quarter in school.  It is the first quarter since I can remember that I've had some room to breath.  Yah, room.  I think its very considerate of God to hold off on certain "projects" until we aren't completely overwhelmed by life.  Don't you?  Unfortunately I find myself not completely overwhelmed by life and suddenly, He is bringing stuff up.  I find myself driving along and all He has to say is one word and I'm in a puddle by the gas peddle.  The nice thing about His projects is that they always have a purpose and that purpose is always good.  The bad thing about His projects is that He starts them when you FINALLY HAD BREATHING ROOM!
     Sometimes He uses people and circumstances to bring things up. . . . For example, bumping into an old friend when you're out to grab some Burgers and Brew with your dad.  Old friend.  A dear old friend that I will admit used to hold my heart in the palm of his hand.  Then to your combined shock, joy and anguish, he shows you pictures of his two, eleven week old beautiful twins.  One boy and one girl.  Isn't that perfect?  Is it true that after you've been stabbed in the stomach you will die more quickly if you pull the blade out?  
     I will be a doctor in a year (approximately) following my graduation from a world-renowned veterinary program, I'm an artist, I'm an athlete, I've got a pretty good voice, I'm relatively smart and I'm not unattractive and I feel like the biggest waste of space that ever took up residence on this blue planet.   What is this loneliness?  Why do babies make it worse?  I don't know.  But today, the medicine for all this feels like my mountains and today they feel very far away.

My favorite view, right before we turn off for the Moose ponds

View of the Tetons driving down from Yellowstone

Sssiiiiiigggggghhhhhhhh